Keeping it simple

A blog about #SpacesForListening as we enter its third year …

by Charlie Jones & Brigid Russell

We’ve been saying for a long time how we all need more space to listen to each other, and to feel heard. This still feels so vital now more than ever, so desperately needed.

Since May 2020, we’ve convened 280 #SpacesForListening, and in so doing we’ve met 1,500 people from across health, care, local government, third sector, education… from across the UK and beyond. We thought there’d be interest for a few months, maybe. And here we are over two & a half years later, still convening these spaces, and meeting more and more people who are moved to take this very simple approach and ripple out its use in their local setting. We reckon it’s reaching across around 50 organisations, as far as we know… Probably many more. The scale of the spread is not the point. It is all about the reality, the generosity, and the meaning of the connections it creates. And all of this is happening organically, voluntarily, with a natural momentum of its own.

So what’s it all about, and why are we still here doing this?

All of us are holding so much, in our lives and in our work. The pressure and pace is unrelenting. Whenever we meet a group of people — from many different walks of life — we hear similarly resounding themes. So much pain, so much exhaustion.

There’s too big a gap between the reality of our experiences and the rhetoric — both in the media, and also in the organisations where we work. We see the news, and we wonder who and what we can trust. In some NHS Trusts, the polished corporate narrative not only doesn’t ring true, it jars and causes frustration. It disrespects both our experiences and also the inner values we cherished coming into public service in the first place. Formal meetings in our workplaces can feel insincere, overly orchestrated, leaving no space for us to say what we really think, express our fears and concerns, or to share our practical and realistic ideas.

And the harder, the more grinding it feels — the more airbrushed so many of the ‘solutions’ appear to become. There’s a superficiality, an invitation to false positivity. A push to sanitise, to make it more transactional, to keep it all safe and controlled. Except what we’re facing is not clean, linear, tidy. And it’s far from safe. It’s complex, un-tidy, unrelenting, and distressing.

We need to pause, and listen. Find another way to be with each other.

So why do we think something as simple as #SpacesForListening makes a jot of difference in the midst of all of this? Well, because people have told us so — consistently, emotionally, and powerfully.

“We had our first work ‘spaces for listening’ and it was very emotional… everyone needed that space. Feedback was that it is simple and so powerful. We have another session booked in the new year, six people have already confirmed…After the first few days since the session, I notice I am more aware of myself and I feel mentally and emotionally in a much better place than I was before the session. I can’t describe it, but lighter and more content…” Nazia Rehman (@naziarehman0876)

“A great ‘spaces for listening’ with a group today. They’ve been through a harrowing period… And they were blown away by the space. One called me after, so moved at how powerful and ‘transformative’ he had found it…” Andrew Bell (@Knowingvillages)

“Thanks to everyone for #SpacesForListening last night. It has left me hope-full that there’s so many of us out there voicing what needs to be said, caring deeply, and making space for all we feel. Maybe radical inclusion starts within, and then radiates out…” Lorna Walker (@lornaskyw)

Clearly, these gatherings of 8 people listening to each other are not going to solve the existential and societal crises we’re all facing. But they do feel real — amidst the fakeness, amidst the steady stream of easy-come easy-go, un-sustained initiatives. The slicker these fads are, the more showy… the more unbelievable they feel, and the more jarring and the more disrespectful.

So many of us are completely fed up with surface-level representations of what’s really going on. So many of us are searching for real connection, a sense of shared humanity, the honest truth — multiple truths — about what’s happening across society. Let’s talk about it, share our experiences.

We can’t keep tiptoeing around all of this pain, grief, trauma …

We have to make space for it, respect it, share it (if we want to, and if we feel able to…). Meet each other as human beings. Put aside the lanyards, the corporate bullshit, get out of the boxes on our hierarchical organisation charts, and say what we are really thinking and how we are actually feeling… and feel genuinely heard.

And when we have the chance to do that, then we can start to find ways of really facing up to the harsh realities of life in our organisations and across our communities. Have the real conversations, and see where they take us. Maybe then we can find ways together to address the horrendous inequities across our society with so much more honesty…

Keeping it simple is not simplistic, and it isn’t easy. Far from it — it takes effort and intention to keep things simple, to not be drawn into the status quo. By pausing, sitting alongside each other in an equal space, we get the chance to hear and feel how it really is. And that can be raw and scary — but it’s real. It can feel hugely affirming and cathartic too…

And crucially it gives us more realistic possibility of finding better ways to live and work together.

If you’re interested in joining the conversation or experiencing #SpacesForListening get in touch with us via Twitter where you’ll find us at @charlie_psych and @brigidrussell51